IS IT LOVE OR LUST?
How to find if it is TRUE LOVE or just LUST
THE TIMES OF INDIA
Is it love or lust?
21 Jul 2008, 0047 hrs
IST, MUMBAI MIRROR
Here are some signs to help you find out which of the two you are experiencing.
Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones — it’s nature’s way of bringing the opposite sexes together. In fact, without lust, it’s doubtful that love between a man and a woman would have a chance to prosper at all; which is also the reason why sexless marriages fail.
However, love is the most ennobling of human emotions — transcendental, exalted and capable of engendering emotional states.
But how can you tell the difference between lust and love? Read on to find out.
It’s lust if:
• You’re totally focussed on looks and body
Even before you know your crush’s name, you’re already fantasising about them and drooling over their looks.
• You don’t care about anything they have to say
It wouldn’t make a difference to you if you never had a conversation with your crush. Furthermore, you don’t bother to return calls promptly and you can easily go for days without talking to this person.
You don’t mind checking out other hotties, or looking at other people, like friends, to satisfy your emotional needs.
• You spend most of your together time in ‘action’
You make excuses not to spend time, unless it’s in the confines of a room. And if they ask you for a favour, you say you’re too busy. But if you have to be together and not have sex, you find them boring and look forward to doing something else like going shopping by yourself.
• You leave after sex
After having sex, you look for the easiest way to leave. No cuddling, no breakfast the next morning, just “I gotta go”.
It’s love if:
• You have great chemistry
You get lost in your conversations and the hours pass like minutes. You’re more than willing to listen to each other and sex rocks too. The chemistry between you is remarkable.
• You like the way they look
Even if you catch them on a bad hair day and in the worst of their clothes, they still look gorgeous to you.
• You want to spend some time together
All you want to do is to be with them, while you’re having sex and even when you’re not.
• You see a future together
You experience the strange feeling that your life would be totally empty without that person. You tell your friends and family that he/ she may be ‘the one’, and you’re even thinking about marriage.
• You introduce them to your friends and family
It becomes very important to you that your parents like him/ her, and that he/ she gets along with everyone close to you.
• You include them in all your plans
Whether you’re going out with your friends or taking your dog for a walk, you want them there with you.
And if they’re not there, you can’t get them off your mind and sneak off to give them a quick “I miss you” phone call.
• You are more romantic
All of a sudden you find yourself listening to cheesy romantic songs and thinking of him/ her. You send them flowers and set up romantic evenings candlelit dinners.
THE TIMES OF INDIA 21 Jul 2008, 0047 hrs
IST, MUMBAI MIRROR
Dr. Ashok Koparday
MBBS, FC SEPI
Center for Therapy, Education, Research in
Sex, Marriage, Relationships
Ex. Teaching Faculty
Seth G. S. Medical College and K. E. M. Hospital and
Grant Medical College and Sir J. J. Group of Hospitals
University of Mumbai, India